My Journey So Far…
My life hasn’t been the easiest or smoothest journey, but I can honestly say in hindsight, God has had his hand on me all the way through. When I decided to step out from the security of a paid monthly salary, benefits and the predictability of what my life should be in 20years++, if I just stayed the course.
But I had to go and ruffle my own feathers, I had to become like those crazy people who would dare to believe for more of an extraordinary life. I was at the time on a quest to prove to the world I wasn’t a failure. I had to prove that my divorce wasn’t the end of me. I had to make my mark on the world. After all, I am a highly educated, sophisticated Alpha female. I knew I had the goods to deliver as a CEO, I was eloquent and trained in my craft. And don’t forget, I had over 10 years’ experience in the beauty trade and my new set of services would be in hot demand, given the high trends on the market at the time.
No sooner did i begin the journey, just 5 months into the game, did I realize this was no small feat. Owning and running a thriving business was not as straight cut as I had preconceived.
It was a jungle out there. 13 months into my dream, and I was flat broke. My teacher’s retirement had tapped out on building this dream of mine. I was barely scraping by and had to quickly go into survival mode. My adaptable skills came to bear, as I figured out all the additional ways I could bring in revenue, but that meant, I would be working 24/7, literally.
I was quickly burning out and crying for help. Only this time, my cry for help was inside of me. Crying myself to sleep, crying on long drives, not for pleasure if may add. Crying at every private moment I found myself alone. Wondering at every moment, how my life had slumped so low into the depths of desolation. My business could not sustain itself any longer. I was at the edge of losing everything I had built. It got so bad I faced 2 evictions threats at one point. Now ask me, what’s a girl to do? Become homeless or lose my business. It was an impossible position. I couldn’t bear the thought of my children and I not having a home; at the same time, my heart broke at the thought of losing my business.
The dream had turned into a nightmare and I was not waking up. I had come to the end of it all, myself, my business and everything was about to come crashing down on me. I prayed, I fasted, I tried to muster up so much faith, it felt like my insides would implode. I called some friends at the time and I’m not sure what hurt the most. The fact I had made my vulnerability known or the fact they didn’t help. It was a horrible all-around feeling. I felt resentment for the disappointment, but I knew that wasn’t the answer. But the pain was too much to bear. I knew something had to happen and fast too, else this train was about to be derailed.
One faithful quiet day, on social media, I received an inbox message, nothing special. It seemed like another one of many messages, but this was also different, it was from an unfamiliar source. He had requested a meeting to discuss the possibility of including my services within their medical facility. This didn’t make sense. My business was on the verge of going under, I was about to lose my home and now this weird offer. But a dead man cannot be killed. So, what did I have to lose? I took the meeting and it was like a whirlwind of change. I didn’t ever account for the impact of that decision, until months later as the pandemic broke and I began to take stock of how GOD had come to rescue, restore and reposition me to continue on my journey into purpose and fulfillment
At the moment, it seemed like I was being demoted and my scaling back and relocation seemed like a punishment for something I did or didn’t do. I had run the play book in my head multiple times, to see if I could have had a better outcome. But I came short and finally found my rest in the assurance of my faith, that all things always work together for my good.
My business stayed open, but way beyond open, we thrived in the worst of times. We remain a thriving brand and our doors stay open as we continue to navigate the new normal of being valuable to our clients and profitable for our team.
There is a place for dreaming, a place of faith and prayers, a place for relentless hard work, a place for being creative and innovative, a place for being resourceful and enterprising, but through all those places and spaces in time, the best place I have found is the place of rest and surrender. This is the place where God rescues, restores, repositions and resuscitates you to the original intent he had for your life from the very beginning. And so I continue the journey with a better outlook toward success, achievement and greatness, having nothing to prove. All that matters is my love for God and people. It’s all unfolding and I am becoming more daily. Much is said about how much I do, how many platforms of social media I actively engage, and so much continue to be said to and about me. My experience has made me super extra aware of myself and who I am. I understand how critical it is for me to rise up and be all I can and never shrink for any reason. I am who I am by God’s grace and so I keep moving.